The Sibyl in Her Grave ht-4 Page 4

  There was a noise of something breaking in the kitchen, and a girl came in — an awkward, skinny little thing, all knees and elbows, somewhere in her early twenties. Not, I have to say, at all a pretty girl — lank brown hair, a poor complexion, a rather receding chin and overprominent front teeth. She had quite large brown eyes, which should have been her best feature, but very listless and watery looking — do always remember, Julia, that the expression “bright with unshed tears” is a most misleading one. Still, I’ve seen women with fewer natural advantages persuade half London that they were irresistible — a little makeup and a little animation can do wonders.

  “Daphne,” said Isabella, “this is Mrs. Sheldon, who’s kindly come to see how we’re getting on — say ‘How do you do’ to her.”

  The poor girl obediently stammered the words out and then stood jiggling about from one foot to the other, pushing down her skirt with the palms of her hands as if she were hoping to make it cover her knees. It was certainly far too short — I mean, the sort of length one should only wear if one has very nice legs and is wearing pretty underwear — and looked like something she had had in her teens and grown out of. As her hands were moist and not very clean, all she achieved was to make the skirt even grubbier than it already was.

  I was trying to think of something kind and encouraging to say to her when something moved in the shadows at the far end of the room. And screeched. And flapped its wings. Something much larger than a raven.

  I do strongly advise you, Julia, to try to conquer your feelings about spiders — one really never knows what embarrassments these ridiculous phobias can get one into. As you’ll have gathered, I was already more disconcerted than I would have liked by finding myself in the same room as a dozen or so ravens. When I realised that I was also sharing it with a vulture, I came closer to screaming than I care to admit.

  “Oh,” said Isabella, “this is my friend Roderigo. I do hope he didn’t startle you?”

  It was all I could do to say “What a handsome creature” and remember an urgent appointment at the Vicarage. And I wouldn’t want you, Julia, to find yourself at a similar disadvantage in a situation involving a tarantula.

  3

  IT WAS CANTRIP, misguidedly in my view, who chose at this juncture to refer to the spider episode. I have always refrained, and I hope shall always refrain, from offending the sensibility of my readers with the details of that regrettable incident: I mention merely that it conclusively marked the end of what some would term the more intimate relationship formerly existing between Cantrip and Julia.

  “I bet your aunt Reg’s thing about birds isn’t really as bad as your thing about spiders. I mean, if she’d ever woken up on April Fool’s Day and found some witty chap she was chums with had put a stuffed parrot—”

  “Cantrip,” said Julia, “although the spider episode has left scars on my psyche for which a litigious woman could undoubtedly recover an enormous sum in damages, I have tried for friendship’s sake to erase it from my memory. Do you really want to remind me of it?”

  “There you are, you see — it was simply ages ago, and you’re still miffed about it. So what I’m saying is, your aunt Reg can’t be anything like as bad about birds as you are about spiders. Because let’s face it, if someone took you into a room crawling with spiders, you wouldn’t hang about drinking sherry and making small talk, you’d be out in nought seconds flat, screaming like a banshee on bath night.”

  “I cannot imagine,” said Ragwort, “that Mrs. Sheldon would in any circumstances allow herself to leave the drawing room of a new acquaintance in the unladylike and precipitate manner you describe.”

  “No,” said Julia, “I’m sure she wouldn’t, but that’s simply a question of character. I think, as a matter of fact, that she’s just as frightened of birds as I am of spiders.”

  Maurice, of course, also had to call on Isabella — apart from anything else, he’s her nearest neighbour. He came round afterwards to tell me about it, shaking like a leaf and needing a stiff gin.

  This wasn’t because of the vulture, it was because she’d told him that he was a true priest and a man of great spiritual authority. Poor Maurice, he’d been terribly embarrassed — he kept saying “Oh, my God, what would the Bishop say?” and needing more gin every time he thought of it.

  She’d also told him that he’d think her a very wicked person and perhaps denounce her as a heretic and blasphemer. He’d tried to explain that he didn’t go in for that sort of thing, but she didn’t take any notice. She seems to imagine herself as the high priestess of some kind of alternative religion — that’s how she claims to have the gift of prophecy. Maurice thought she’d probably got the idea from reading something about the Albigensians.

  “And I’m not saying a word against the Albigensians,” said Maurice, “who I’m sure were very good people and extremely badly treated. And no one’s sorrier than I am about it, so I don’t see why I should be cast as some appalling character like St. Dominic. Who was a ghastly man, Reg, really perfectly ghastly, and with all my faults I don’t think anyone can say I’m like him.”

  Whatever religion it is, the big leather book seems to be a central feature of it. Maurice asked her if he could have a closer look at it, but she wouldn’t let him—”I know, Father Dulcimer, that it is lawful for me to read in your Book, but it is forbidden for you to read in mine.” He thinks it’s probably part of her fortune-telling paraphernalia — there’s a very old form of prophecy, he says, where you open a book and point to a line at random and it tells you what you want to know. It has to be a very important and serious book, of course — the Bible or Virgil’s Aeneid or something of that sort. What Isabella’s is there’s no way of knowing — one thing we’re pretty sure of is that it isn’t the Bible.

  She’d ended by saying that though she and Maurice were destined to be adversaries, they were adversaries who respected each other and could perhaps be friends. Poor man, no wonder he needed gin.

  “Ragwort,” said Julia, pausing in her reading, “we look to you for enlightenment on questions of a religious nature. Why should a clergyman object to being called a true priest and told he had great spiritual authority?”

  “He would have felt, I imagine,” said Ragwort, “that such expressions savoured of the charismatic — happy-clappy music and the Toronto Blessing. People don’t much care for that sort of thing in Sussex — not in West Sussex, at any rate.”

  “And would that also be his objection to the comparison with St. Dominic?”

  “Not exactly. St. Dominic, one would have to say, went to rather different extremes.”

  You’ll have gathered, I expect, that neither Maurice nor I was much taken with Isabella, and even if she’d been a perfect angel Griselda wouldn’t have forgiven her for destroying the garden. So we were all a little surprised when Ricky began to be quite friendly with her. They’d apparently known each other in London some years ago — she invited him round for drinks soon after she moved in and since then he’s been a regular visitor.

  Well, of course, Ricky’s old enough to choose his friends for himself, and if he enjoys Isabella’s company that’s no one’s business but his own — one just finds it slightly odd, that’s all. Apart from anything else, he’s always been rather an enthusiast for comfort and good cooking, and I wouldn’t imagine there’s much of either to be had at the Rectory these days. So presumably there’s some other attraction — there are men, I know, who like women who don’t wash much.

  Still, as I say, that’s no one else’s business. The only tiresome thing, as far as I’m concerned, is that he put her up for membership of our little boating and tennis club, and she seems to spend half her time there. It’s just a small clubhouse and bar overlooking the river, with a couple of tennis courts, but it used to be a convenient place to meet friends if none of us felt like entertaining at home. Now one can only go there if one’s in the mood for running into Isabella, which in my case isn’t often.

  But I suppose
it’s rather unkind of me to resent her being there so much — without it, so far as I can see, she’d have no social life at all. Since neither she nor Daphne can drive a car, and public transport is beneath her dignity, she doesn’t get about much outside the village. She hasn’t made many friends since she arrived here, and if she had any before then, they evidently aren’t close enough to come and visit her. The fortune-telling business seems to be done mostly by correspondence — Mrs. Makepeace at the Post Office says she gets quite a lot of letters.

  There is one exception, which I have to admit we’re all very curious about. Every four or five weeks or so, at about seven in the evening, a large black Mercedes car with tinted windows drives rather fast into Parsons Haver and straight to the Rectory, where it parks in the part of the drive that is hidden from view by the shrubbery — this could be pure chance, but no one in the village believes that. The man who gets out of it rings at the front door and is let in. After two or three hours, he comes out and drives off again equally fast, heading towards London.

  And what everyone wants to know is — who is he? We all agree he must be rich or he wouldn’t have a Mercedes. And famous, or he wouldn’t need tinted windows. But is he a famous footballer? Or a television personality? Or a member of the Royal Family? These are the main possibilities put forward in the bar of the Newt and Ninepence — in some circles he’s thought to be something far more sinister.

  The only person who’s actually seen him is Maurice. His study window is the one place in Haver with a clear view of the Rectory doorway, and he’s seen the man quite plainly several times. But that’s no use to anyone, because Maurice is almost as unobservant as you are — is it something that happens to people who read Classics at Oxford? All he can find to say about the man is that he’s an ordinary, middle-aged man, in a City suit.

  The visits of the black Mercedes are at irregular intervals, but one can always tell when it’s expected. Poor Daphne is banished from the Rectory at about six o’clock, with just enough money to buy herself a sandwich and a glass of wine, and sits hunched up all evening in a corner of the Newt and Ninepence, looking like a puppy that’s been turned outdoors in disgrace and doesn’t understand why.

  If I see her in there, of course, I say “Good evening” and buy her another glass of wine. She used to be very hesitant about accepting — she was obviously embarrassed, poor girl, that she couldn’t buy me one back — but now she seems used to the idea. And she always tells me that she has to stay out all evening, because Aunt Isabella is giving a Personal Reading — one can hear the capital letters — and anyone else in the house would disturb the vibrations. So it looks as if the visits are professional, rather than personal.

  It’s really too mean of Isabella — if she wants the girl out of the house, she might at least give her enough to go into Brighton to enjoy herself a bit. She doesn’t seem even to give her pocket money, let alone any proper wages. I suppose one would say that she pays for Daphne’s keep, but she certainly doesn’t buy her any clothes — or if she does, it must be at jumble sales. I’ve never seen Daphne in a pretty dress — really, some of her things look as if she’d got them from someone’s dustbin, and not a very clean one either.

  I don’t say Isabella physically ill treats her — though Griselda’s sure she does — but her feet are always rubbed sore from going without stockings in badly fitting shoes, and she often has quite painful-looking peck marks on her face.

  Griselda gets very upset and indignant about it all, and says that we ought to do something. But what? One can’t ring the RSPCA or the cruelty-to-children people — Daphne’s not a child or an animal, she’s a grown-up human being, not all that much younger than you are.

  And she’s not a prisoner — she could leave Isabella tomorrow if she chose. But if she did, where would she go, and what would she do? She isn’t qualified for anything — Isabella’s brought her up to think that “what they teach you in school isn’t true knowledge” and exams aren’t important, so of course she’s never passed any. And she certainly wouldn’t get a job on the strength of her looks or personality.

  In any case, she doesn’t want to leave. If one asks her what she wants to do with her life, she looks very round-eyed and earnest and says, “I just want to feel I’m caring for someone who needs me.” And she seems to believe that Isabella does. Why a grown woman in the prime of life and possession of all her faculties should need a full-time personal attendant I can’t very well imagine, but she’s somehow persuaded Daphne—”brainwashed” says Griselda — that she’s not merely an invalid but practically a saint, who’s sacrificed her health in the cause of helping others, and it’s an honour and privilege to serve her.

  Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with Isabella’s health that a little fresh air and exercise wouldn’t put right, and I feel there are probably more effective ways of helping people than telling them to avoid travel when the sun’s in Capricorn and distrust dark-haired strangers when Mercury’s in the ascendant or whatever it is she does. One can’t say that to Daphne though — any criticism of Isabella almost reduces her to tears.

  Which does make talking to her rather a strain on one’s patience. Her conversation consists almost entirely of quotes from the same source—”Aunt Isabella always says this” and “Aunt Isabella always says that”—as solemnly pronounced as if she were citing Scripture. Someone has evidently told her that it’s polite to talk to people about things they’re interested in, but she hasn’t quite grasped how it works in practice. So her idea of conversing politely with me is to tell me Isabella’s views about art—“Aunt Isabella says real artists don’t need to go to art school, they’re born knowing how to paint”—and with Griselda Isabella’s views about gardens—”Aunt Isabella says it’s cruel to shut flowers up in flower beds, they ought to be allowed to grow naturally.” Even if I liked Isabella I’d be getting heartily sick of her.

  Blast the woman — I’ve talked as much about her as if I found her almost as interesting as she thinks she is, and still not explained why I’m not pleased with Ricky.

  Well, as I think I told you, the last company that Ricky advised us to invest in was one called Giddly Gadgets. Just after we sold our shares in it, and while we were wondering whether or not to reinvest the proceeds, I happened to be in the wine merchant’s, being tempted by a rather delicious claret they had in, much more expensive than I usually buy. I was trying to make up my mind if I could afford half a case of it when Isabella came in, attended by Daphne to do the carrying. She doesn’t usually do her own shopping, of course, but the wine merchant counts as grand enough to deserve a personal visit.

  I didn’t want to stay and make conversation, so when we’d exchanged good-mornings I gave my usual order and told the young man serving me that the claret was really too expensive. And Isabella smiled at me, in that infuriating way she has, as if she knew something you didn’t want her to know, and said, “Ah — what a pity Giddly Gadgets didn’t do better.”

  “Yes, isn’t it?” I said, and walked out of the shop feeling absolutely furious.

  As I say, if Ricky chooses to be friends with Isabella that’s entirely his own business, but he must have known that she’s the last person on earth whom Griselda or Maurice or I would want to know any details of our financial affairs. And he was absolutely the only person who could possibly have told her about us investing in Giddly Gadgets — anyway, I rang him to say how surprised I was, and he didn’t deny it.

  So you’ll understand, if you don’t mind very much, and think it too ungrateful of me, that I’d rather not ask him where he got his information from.

  Yours with much love,

  Reg

  Few of the tables in the Corkscrew were still occupied: it was thought time for the proceedings of the Restoration Committee to be adjourned. Even Julia could not be persuaded to linger for another glass of wine: fearing that the interview with the young man from the Revenue might for some reason have proceeded less smoot
hly than it should have done, she was anxious to telephone again to find out what had happened.

  When she finally succeeded, however, in speaking to her aunt, she found her too preoccupied to discuss income tax: Mrs. Sheldon had a funeral to arrange.

  4

  MY DUTY TO HISTORICAL truth does not, I think, require me to bewilder my readers with the version of the day’s events in Parsons Haver which we received from Julia on the basis of her telephone conversation. A more complete and orderly account is contained in the letter which she read to us when we gathered once more in the Corkscrew on the Thursday evening.

  24 High Street

  Parsons Haver

  West Sussex

  Tuesday, 22nd June

  Dear Julia,

  Do forgive me if I was slightly distrait when you rang earlier — I’d had a rather trying day. I suppose, if I’m going to tell you properly about it, that I ought to start with yesterday evening.

  I’d had a most satisfactory interview with the income tax man and it occurred to me, as I was beginning to get supper ready for Maurice and Griselda, that we had a first-rate excuse for champagne. So I ran down to the wine merchant’s and bought a couple of bottles, and on my way back I saw poor Daphne, sitting all by herself on a bench outside the Newt and Ninepence.

  I was rather surprised to see her there. The black Mercedes had been seen here less than a week ago, and there’s usually at least a month between its visits. I didn’t feel I had time, though, to stop and talk to her, so I waved and went on my way.

  But a moment or two later she came running after me and seized hold of my shopping basket, saying it looked much too heavy for me and I must let her carry it. I could hardly take it back from her by physical force — which it almost seemed I’d have to, she was so determined — so I let her go on carrying it, and she came trotting home beside me.